Wanted (2008)

* *

Wanted does exactly what it was set out to do; that being to appease the appetite of the mindless summer movie watcher with guns, girls, and gore. This film is the very definition of a Hollywood action movie and boasts all the necessary ingredients including dazzling fight sequences, stunning CGI, a mind-bending plot, and Angelina Jolie. To top it all off, the writers try to add layers upon layers of depth and allusions to societal pressures to fit in, be successful, and do the right thing, a message that resonates perfectly with the target audience. James McAvoy (Atonement) stars as Wesley Gibson, a down-and-out office worker frustrated with the repetition and monotony of his everyday life. When he finds out his dad, who has been missing since the day he was born, was a deadly, superhuman assassin, he realizes his destiny to become a member of "The Fraternity" and follow in his father's footsteps, avenging his death. Morgan Freeman plays Sloan, the leader of the Fraternity, in a performance that could literally be exactly the same as at least five other Freeman roles in the past decade. Jolie as Fox and Common as Gunsmith are members of the Fraternity and help train Wesley to attain his supernatural assasin abilities. Wanted may be one of the most cliched movies of all time, and is essentially the textbook example of an action movie. There are so many elements contrived from other films its difficult to keep count by the time the credits roll. Some scenes are so generic they become painful to watch, while others are so fast-paced, visually impressive, or downright hot (Jolie) that you can't take your eyes off the screen. The last twenty minutes involve so many plot twists that they seem to happen just for the sake of throwing the audience off the right path. The nerdy action lover who can recite lines from the Matrix series will probably follow along and find genius within the writers efforts to make a statement about taking control of your life and creating your own destiny. The rest of us won't understand what happened or why and won't care enough to figure it out either. Wanted is pure sleaze and proud of it, and people will either love or hate it for exactly that reason.

Good for: action fans, drunk people, someone not in the mood to think, Jolie fans

Bad for: artists, people bothered by violence

Baby Mama (2008)

* *

There are very few comedies that be carried by two female leads into the realm of movie-lore. If there are two ladies up to the task, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler would be at the top of the list. Unfortunately, not even they are funny enough or consistent enough to take a film that starts behind the count from the title screen (Baby Mama? Awful) to such great heights. Written and directed by former Austin Powers and SNL writer Michael McCullers, Baby Mama is the story of Fey's character Kate, who cannot mother her own child and seeks Poehler's Angie to be the surrogate mother. The catch is the clash between Vice President, career woman Kate and trailer-dwelling, high school drop-out Angie in their effort to bring a healthy baby into the world. Literally everything that follows is exactly what everyone would expect. Every character, plot twist, scene, song, and situation is almost blatantly generic. Baby Mama is destined for USA/TNT re-runs and may have been more successful as a TV-movie. Despite the overwhelming flaws, Baby Mama contains a considerable number of laughs. Fey and Poehler are great on-screen together, and it's disappointing to see such talented actresses follow a huge laugh with a joke that has been recycled in twenty prior films. At times they look in prime form, but minutes later look like they know as well as the audience that the joke wasn't funny and appear to have a face that screams "I hope this doesn't make the final cut." It seems that if paired with a better writer or director, Fey and Poehler could make some good movies. The supporting cast is filled with big names which provide mostly average but some surprisingly funny performances. Greg Kinnear, Dax Shepard, and Sigourney Weaver are stale, but Steve Martin and Romany Malco (40 Year Old Virgin) do their best to give the film a bit of flavor. Not even a star-studded cast can save a bad story, particularly one loaded with horribly worn-out, stereotypical portrayals of African Americans, rednecks, and hippies plus odd references toward surrogacy, vegetarians, and other sectors of society. In the end, there are memorable laughs but only some women and huge Fey/Poehler fans will find it worth trudging through ninety minutes of blah to find them.

Good for: chick-flick fans, Tina Fey fans

Bad for: fans of Judd Apatow movies, 98% of the male population

Cloverfield (2008)

* *

Although Cloverfield has been marketed and acclaimed for being something different from the typical movie experience, in terms of horror films, its mostly more of the same. Borrowing from (inspired by?) a multitude of previous films such as the Blair Witch Project, Godzilla, Independence Day, and even I Am Legend, Cloverfield comes across as an over-extended, ninety minute Universal Studios ride with all of the requisite wall-shakes, sound effects, and in-your-face visuals. The premise, a disastrous attack on New York City filmed from a hand-held, first person point-of-view, is interesting enough to draw in the horror audience and other movie-goers looking for a scare, but anyone looking for anything more will be disappointed. The cast of unknown actors perform average at best as a group of friends trying to stick together under the bizarre circumstances. Director Matt Reeves makes some gutsy calls in his feature-film debut, but is moving a hand-held camera around in disarray and blasting sound effects and blinking lights art or just a thrill ride? The screenplay, written by Drew Goddard who also writes episodes for the critically acclaimed Lost TV series, has a few bright spots of wit but sucks away the realism the hand-held camera was intended to create. There are some laugh-out-loud lines, which actually give Cloverfield some more depth than most generic horror films, but they appear at entirely inappropriate times. The tone of the film is so inconsistent that it is almost impossible to be emotionally invested in the "drama" of what are supposed to be dire circumstances. The special effects are reminiscent of other CGI-laden disaster flicks, but for those who go to the movies to see the unreal, watching Lady Liberty's head come rolling down a Manhattan street like a bowling ball will be worth the price of admission. Its unfortunate that Paramount owns Cloverfield and not Universal, because it would fit perfectly in the theme park; just add some water sprays, vibrating seats and some 3D goggles to the film as it is now. Most of the audience will need Dramamine just to get through to the credits already.

Good for: horror movie fans, CGI fans, people who liked the Blair Witch Project

Bad for: people who get motion sick

The Gallery
The Surfer: *
The Film Maker: * *

The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

* *

Once upon a time in the nineties the Farrelly brothers towered together over the comedy realm after directing and producing Me, Myself, and Irene, There's Something About Mary, and Kingpin, after starting it all with Dumb and Dumber, a top ten comedy film of all-time. With comedy legends Jim Carrey and Ben Stiller at their disposal, the Farrelly's seemed destined to create countless classics. Instead, they started off the new century with a series of duds including Osmosis Jones, Shallow Hal, Stuck on You, and Fever Pitch. After using the likes of Jack Black and Jimmy Fallon, the Farrelly's returned to Stiller as their leading man with a script eerily similar in plot and raunchiness to Mary. Unfortunately, the revert back to Stiller doesn't make a difference as The Heartbreak Kid is not nearly as funny and twice as generic, continuing the brothers' cold streak. The plot involves Eddie Cantrow, played by Stiller, and his attempt to finally settle down with one woman at age forty. Malin Akerman plays the Cameron Diaz role and is just as unamusing if not more, but tries harder. Michelle Monaghan is cute but again, not funny, as a girl who catches Stiller's eye, and Carlos Mencia's performance will make you wonder who he knows in the industry how this guy is making a living as a comedian. The only noteworthy performance is by Jerry Stiller as Eddie's father. It's not entirely clear whether the lines are truly comical, or if it's just funny to see an old man say intensely profane things in front of his real-life and on-screen son. Now this isn't to say that there aren't any funny parts. Two or three scenes are laugh-out-loud funny and a few lines are particularly memorable, but the ten minutes of hilarity aren't worth the admission price or your time. Save the Heartbreak Kid for DVD or cable, or rent it from that friend we all have that thought Fever Pitch was hilarious.

Good For: people who like bad movies, obnoxious movie-quoting people, fans of either Stiller, guys who like attractive girls naked

Bad For: critical movie watchers

The Gallery
The Surfer: * *

The Ice Harvest (2005)

* *

Is the Ice Harvest supposed to be funny? dark? thrilling? stylish? funny? Considering a cast headlined by John Cusack and Billy Bob Thorton and direction from Harold Ramis, the Ice Harvest should be better than it is. The film attempts to be too many things at once without being really good at anything. A lawyer and strip club owner played by Cusack and Thorton, respectively, attempt a heist on Christmas Eve and madness, or dullness, ensues. The film takes place in one long night and involves a cast of shady characters strangely interacting with each other. There are a few interesting scenes of dialogue with both Cusack and Thorton including one that involves a man in a box. The only supporting actor worth noting is the typically over-the-top Oliver Platt who is surprisingly entertaining as a drunken husband and father unsatisfied with life. Richard Russo (with no previously noteworthy works) and Robert Benson (Kramer vs. Kramer, Superman, Bonnie and Clyde) collaborated on the screenplay which comes across as some sort of side project that didn't receive much attention. The plot twists are generally not surprising and by the time there are surprises you don't care about them. It seems as if Ramis had hoped to combine violence and unlikeable characters in a darkly humorous, Tarantino-like fashion but the Ice Harvest doesn't contain any of the wit or intelligence needed for this to work. What was meant to be a film noir-ish heist movie comes across as boring and worthless.

Good For: Billy Bob fans

Bad For: heist fans, those who are easily bored

The Gallery
The Economist: * *

Smokin' Aces (2007)

* *

Smokin' Aces runs 108 minutes; edit out 45 or 50 minutes and you have a good movie. Trailers made Aces appear to be a fun, stylish action/comedy and the first half of the movie is just that. The second half of the movie, however, completely falls apart leaving an unlikely, unimaginative, and disappointing resolution with heaps of useless violence. The idea of hit men and cops both after a snitch to wipe him out or keep him afloat, respectively, is a good idea that should have worked. Don't fault the actors for the collapse. Jeremy Piven of Entourage fame plays the Vegas showman turned drug dealing gangster wanna-be turned rat. The character seems like a strung out Ari Gold that finally gave up chasing Vincent Chase around and succumbed to women and cocaine, but is that a bad thing? Ryan Reynolds, who plays one of the cops chasing Buddy "Aces" Israel, can actually be taken seriously for decent acting, which surprised me more than any of the plot twists. Ben Affleck, Andy Garcia, and Ray Liotta are all above average characters, and Common and the beautiful Alicia Keys both shine in their first appearances in a major Hollywood release. The story is presented in stylish text, quick cuts and short scenes that provide a fast moving plot. Even the soundtrack is put together well with a mix of old and new selections. Unfortunately, after about an hour the writing begins to fall apart until it is riddled with bullets just like most of the characters in the movie. Writer-director Joe Carnahan, who made the above average crime film Narc, attempts to tie many unrelated characters together and resolve a plot full of holes in the last forty minutes. In doing so, he rips off True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Usual Suspects, Reservoir Dogs, and more while providing absolutely nothing of substance or artistry. Watch this movie for an hour of fast-moving dialogue between interesting characters as they pursue Buddy Israel. About an hour in, shut off the movie and make up your own conclusion. Trust me, it will be more satisfying than the "is that it? who cares?" ending to Smokin' Aces.

Good For: Jeremy Piven fans, drunk people

Bad For: people upset by violence

The Gallery
The Economist: * *

The Number 23 (2007)

* *

While I was watching The Number 23, I was trying to decide if it was a one or two star movie. Then, I decided that it maybe a two star film. One plus two; three. The number of stars I gave it; two. Two, three. 23. If reading that made you ill, then you will hate The Number 23. If you can stand to watching connections like that be made for 90 minutes, The Number 23 may be your favorite movie of all time. Joel Schumacher, who has made other terrifically average movies such as Phone Booth, Batman Forever, and Batman Returns, has created yet another mediocre-to-bad thriller that is more confusing than anything. Jim Carrey stars as a man obsessed with the number 23 and its bizarre connection to almost everything in the world. Like almost all of Carrey's films, he is fun to watch whether funny, dramatic, or crazy. This is clearly not the dramatic role he played in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and comparing the two is a mortal sin, but watching him in his emo-haircut go insane will probably be enjoyable for the casual movie watcher. Virginia Madsen (who looks very good with dark hair) also collected a paycheck for this movie and is as average as she could get. Although neither her nor Carrey are terrible, the writing for this movie was dreadful. The lines were written and delivered like they were meant for a high school or junior high play. This doesn't seem to be a fault to the acting though, as every character delivers their lines with the same bland, fake tone. Despite all of this, the film keeps you at least somewhat interested until the plot twists start to unfold. At this point, the Number 23 reverts into every other thriller with the same, predictable explanations, bringing nothing new to your movie-watching experience. As a thriller, you aren't too scared or thrilled, and as a mystery, you're more confused than intrigued. But for the average movie watcher, the Number 23 is something to do on a Friday night. (The number of words in this review; 348. 8 divided by 4; 2, which leaves 32. 32 backwards; 23.)

Good For: mindless movie watchers, general suspense/thriller fans, a date

Bad For: easily confused movie watchers, obsessive compulsives

The Gallery
The Economist: *
The Surfer: *