Blades of Glory (2007)

* * * *

If anything, Blades of Glory proves, once and for all, Will Ferrell is the funniest person in the world. Ferrell takes a movie that has no business being funny and fills it with scenes and quotes that will be rehashed over and over again. The trailers for the movie tell you everything you need to know about the plot, there isn't a single surprise or twist waiting for you in the theater. But unlike what I, and likely many people may thought going in, all of the jokes are not in the preview. In fact, Blades of Glory has some hilarious, dirty, adult jokes, and not all of them are Ferrell's. Napolean Dynamite, aka Jon Heder, is basically a feminine Napolean on skates. He doesn't bring anything new to the table, but with Ferrell by his side, this is his best non-Napolean performance. Amy Poehler, a loud-mouth who is rarely funny on Saturday Night Live, finally is worth a laugh. She and Will Arnett play a brother-sister skating duo that make incest funny again. Jenna Fischer, otherwise known as Pam from the office, plays a role somewhat similar to Pam. She is not quite as sarcastic, but be careful eating popcorn when she talks. She has the funniest line of the movie. Craig T. Nelson doesn't really do anything spectacular, but his somewhat serious role allows Ferrell's role to be that much more ridiculous. The storyline is no different than any other sports comedy, that being introduction to the characters at their height, a fall, and a rise back to the top met with a resistance that almost takes everything away. The difference between this and other sports movies is the writing. I expected a lot of "falling down, knocking things over" type humor, and there is a fair share. But what makes this movie a must-see is the hilarious lines that hit you over and over. It's not as funny as Anchorman or Talladega Nights, but it is in the same ballpark, and Ferrell fans will be pleasantly surprised.

Good For: immature people, Ferrell fans, a date, sad people

Bad For: old people

The Gallery
The Economist: * * *
The Surfer: * *
The Film Maker: * * *

The Number 23 (2007)

* *

While I was watching The Number 23, I was trying to decide if it was a one or two star movie. Then, I decided that it maybe a two star film. One plus two; three. The number of stars I gave it; two. Two, three. 23. If reading that made you ill, then you will hate The Number 23. If you can stand to watching connections like that be made for 90 minutes, The Number 23 may be your favorite movie of all time. Joel Schumacher, who has made other terrifically average movies such as Phone Booth, Batman Forever, and Batman Returns, has created yet another mediocre-to-bad thriller that is more confusing than anything. Jim Carrey stars as a man obsessed with the number 23 and its bizarre connection to almost everything in the world. Like almost all of Carrey's films, he is fun to watch whether funny, dramatic, or crazy. This is clearly not the dramatic role he played in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and comparing the two is a mortal sin, but watching him in his emo-haircut go insane will probably be enjoyable for the casual movie watcher. Virginia Madsen (who looks very good with dark hair) also collected a paycheck for this movie and is as average as she could get. Although neither her nor Carrey are terrible, the writing for this movie was dreadful. The lines were written and delivered like they were meant for a high school or junior high play. This doesn't seem to be a fault to the acting though, as every character delivers their lines with the same bland, fake tone. Despite all of this, the film keeps you at least somewhat interested until the plot twists start to unfold. At this point, the Number 23 reverts into every other thriller with the same, predictable explanations, bringing nothing new to your movie-watching experience. As a thriller, you aren't too scared or thrilled, and as a mystery, you're more confused than intrigued. But for the average movie watcher, the Number 23 is something to do on a Friday night. (The number of words in this review; 348. 8 divided by 4; 2, which leaves 32. 32 backwards; 23.)

Good For: mindless movie watchers, general suspense/thriller fans, a date

Bad For: easily confused movie watchers, obsessive compulsives

The Gallery
The Economist: *
The Surfer: *

The Doors (1991)

* * *

The Doors is a great musical, and an okay film that is enjoyable for a select audience. Oliver Stone recreates the sixties with a vivid atmosphere of peace, love, and the Vietnam War, but like almost all his movies, it is also filled with explicit symbolization, over-the-top acting and story lines, and truth-stretching. Because of this, Stone fans will love the Doors as a quintessential Stone film. Others may be confused or frustrated by scene-after-scene of Val Kilmer as a destructive drunk. Regardless, Kilmer's performance as Jim Morrison may be the best of his career. At times it is scary how much he resembles the Lizard King, and the great similarity in looks helps you to truly imagine Morrison on the screen. He captures the poetic genius of one of rock's most legendary frontmen, and also portrays a rambling madman. In the late sixties and early seventies, Morrison was both the very essence and a complete waste of life, and Kilmer shines in both roles. Kyle MacLachlan, now more well known for parts on Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives, is very good as Ray Manzarek, the keyboardist for the Doors. His relationship with Kilmer's Morrison produces some of the more memorable scenes. Also worth mentioning is Meg Ryan, whose role as Morrison's most steady love interest is far from anything she played in any of her nineties romantic comedies. She holds her own as the sex and drug crazed girlfriend. For rock fans, the Doors is worth watching for the music alone, as all of the Doors prominent songs (except Peace Frog) are included. The live performances are where Kilmer and Stone shine brightest. Kilmer reproduces Morrison's eccentric stage act almost flawlessly, and Stone recreates the exotic atmosphere of a Doors live show perfectly. Unfortunately, Stone gets a little carried away with the music and abandons dialogue for a good part of the film. Watching more of Morrison speaking with his philosophical quips and deep, profound thoughts would have been nice. Those who can't catch the vibe of the music may be ready for Morrison to pass away in his bathtub after two hours of drunken mistakes and abuse.

Good For: Doors fans, Stone fans, stoners

Bad For: alcoholics, spouses of abusive alcoholics

The Gallery
The Surfer: * * * *
The Writer * * * *

Idiocracy (2006)

*

Throughout the nineties Mike Judge proved he could make versatile comedy across multiple genres. Office Space was a cult classic, smart, and satirical. Beavis and Butthead was the complete opposite, the ultimate display of immaturity that used its stupidity as genius comedy, and King of the Hill was a mainstream comedy that is still in syndication. Idiocracy, which has garnered a respectable cult following as it has lingered in Hollywood purgatory for years, is none of the above. Absolutely nothing is smart about Idiocracy, the stupidity is not funny, and after not being released in theaters or distributed by any major film company, it is unlikely to ever gain a mainstream audience even on DVD. The premise of Idiocracy is in itself brilliant. Joe Bauers, played by Luke Wilson, is the most average human being on earth. As part of a U.S. army experiment he is frozen to be re-thawed a year later, but actually is not rethawed until over 500 years later. In the distant future, 500 years of evolution has selected for an incredibly stupid human race and Joe finds himself as the smartest human being on earth. Maya Rudolph plays a prostitute who is also a part of the experiment. Wilson and Rudolph are painfully not funny especially when they are on the screen together. Dax Shepard plays one of the humans of the future and talks in an awful future "hick, ebonics, valley girl" combination accent that is way more annoying than funny. Where Office Space was the perfect satire of life in the cubicle, Idiocracy completely whiffs at the chance to poke fun at the increasing stupidity of the human race. Occasionally there are a few fart jokes or plays on four letter words that get a chuckle, but as a full length feature, the film falls flat on its face. I'm not sure what Judge was thinking, and I see myself for the first time siding with the film companies. This should not have been released and needed major work, probably a hit of the reset button. Its a shame such a great idea is wasted on a terrible plot with a funny joke every 30 minutes.

Good For: people who liked Norbit, Beavis and Butthead (themselves)

Bad For: people with a double digit IQ, people with hobbies/friends/relatives

The Gallery
The Economist: *
The Film Maker: * * *

Zodiac (2007)

* * *

Zodiac is a hit-and-miss movie, as its three star rating states, but in a movie this long, thats a significant amount of misses, and the misses overshadow the hits for the most part. Based on the true story of the Zodiac killer, Zodiac is more of a chronicle of how detective work is done than a jump-out-and-scare-you, hold you to your seat thriller. The "based on a true story" factor is one of the strong points of the movie, as it is interesting and entertaining to watch how such a bizarre turn of events over such a long period of time could happen. You are led down several paths, but unlike most films, all of the characters are right along with you with either no idea who the culprit is or sure they have him when it is in fact wrong. The directing is done quite well, as you feel transported right into the late sixties. The style of the set and wardrobe are completely authentic and the soundtrack could be a #1 album. Although David Fincher creates a genuine atmosphere for a true story to take place, fans of his other great films Seven and Fight Club will be disappointed. The biggest miss of this film is the length; it is entirely too long. There is a nearly forty-five minute stretch of the film where the main character, Jake Gyllenhaal, is not on camera. The acting is very average with no stand-out performances. The previously mentioned Gyllenhaal is not bad but not great as Robert Graysmith, who tirelessly researched the Zodiac killer and authored the book Zodiac. Robert Downey Jr.'s performance is very, very entertaining, but does not hold much artistic merit. He is memorable as an eccentric coke-snorting drunk Paul Avery, but is this any different from the real life Robert Downey Jr.? His wardrobe, including some late sixties dress-shirt-scarf combinations, is without question sweet. Mark Ruffalo is completely forgettable as Inspector David Toschi. John Carroll Lynch, who many will remember as the lovable Norm Gunderson from Fargo, is only on-screen briefly but performs well as a possible suspect. Another performance worth mentioning is Donal Logue, the taxi driver in early nineties MTV commercials and the star of the former Fox series Grounded for Life, as Ken Narlow. Unforunately, the small roles outshine the stars in the film, and even so only by a little. As can be said for Robert Downey Jr.'s performance, the film is entertaining, but is it really art? Or even good film? For a suspense movie, this is far above the usual five Hollywood suspense thrillers that are released each week, and will find a certain audience. With more editing, a more concise story line, and a stand-out performance, it would be a must-see.

Good For: suspense fans, a date, people who like movies based on truth

Bad For: people who can't hold their pee well

The Gallery
The Economist: * *
The Surfer: * * * *
The Film Maker: * * * *

Babel (2006)

* * * *

Babel is a moving film about the inter-connectedness of the world we live in, but the most important message it conveys may be the importance of recognizing the equality of individual people across the globe. An ensemble performance with a huge cast, Babel is a scene-jumper which weaves multiple story lines together that don't form a whole until the film's last ten minutes. The plot may be difficult to follow for some. The scenes not only jump between characters but also back and forth in time, and it takes some time to understand where the film is at. The acting is great across the board as it shows how people react to incredibly demanding situations. Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett are the big names, and both perform well in their roles, but it is the little known actors who make Babel a success. Adrianna Barraza and Rinko Kikuchi are both phenomenal as a Mexican housekeeper and Japanese school girl, respectively. Both had extremely difficult roles and are nearly flawless in every scene. Kikuchi, whose character is deaf, does not even speak a word and still steals every scene. Her performance is a model of what acting should be and was robbed of the Oscar she was nominated for. One of the story lines involves an Arab family whose names as actors I do not know, but the two young boys and the man who plays their father were tremendous and should be recognized. The score is fantastic, one of the best of 2006, as it creates a distinct atmosphere for each scene, and the visuals that it complements across multiple cultures (a Japanese rave, rocky wasteland of the Middle East, a U.S. desert land) are breathtaking. The acting rarely seems forced as well as the point it is trying to get across, and this may almost be to a fault. The directing is great, but it seems as if Alejandro González Iñárritu was trying to whisper his message rather than shout it or even say it with authority. Regardless, I am very anxious to see what he comes with next. Overall, Babel has great acting, an intricate storyline, and an important message. Those are three things you rarely find in movies these days.

Good For: people who like socially conscious films, people interested in many cultures, fans of little known actors

Bad For: people who can't read subtitles, people upset by full frontal nudity, ethnocentrists

The Gallery
The Economist: * * *
The Surfer: * * * *
The Film Maker: * * * * *

Half Nelson (2006)

* * * *

There is nothing great about Half Nelson, but there's nothing wrong with it either. It is a dark, honest drama about a drug addict school teacher and a student he forms a close bond to. The film is very quiet with no pounding score to accentuate the emotional scenes and short, terse dialogue with quick cuts. Throughout the movie you get a sense that the director was trying to create a feel of reality with scenes that get right to the point without sugar coating. You aren't told when or what to feel, and the acting alone gets the point across. Ryan Gosling's performance as Dan Dunne was worthy of an Oscar nod (but not a win). His character is "getting clean" from past drug use but transforms from a teacher who dabbles with drugs at night to a man whose life is nearly destroyed by substances. Shareeka Epps more than holds her own as Drey, a student in Dunne's history class, and we will surely see her pop up in more films in the near future. She portrays a young girl trying to stay straight with a crack-addict teacher, a mother constantly getting the double shift, and neighborhood dealers trying to get her to run dope. It's the connection between Epps and Gosling which makes Half Nelson worthwhile. The film exposes the harsh reality of what can happen to someone who can't get loose from the hold drugs place on them. This is clearly an independent film that doesn't use any of the Hollywood cookie-cutter techniques to make a statement. This is both its flaw and its bright point, as general audiences may become bored at some points. Half Nelson isn't for everyone, but its honest illustration of drug addiction and its effects make it worth watching.

Good For: independent movie fans, people who like movies about the inner-city, someone interested in drugs

Bad For: people who get bored easily, crack-cocaine addicts

The Gallery
The Film Maker: * * * *

The Deer Hunter (1978)

* * * * *

There are great movies, and then there are the ones that change the way you look at other movies, society and the world. The Deer Hunter, simply put, is one of the most powerful movies, start-to-finish, of all time. It chronicles the story of a few small-town guys from rural Pennsylvania that are swept into the whirlwind that was the Vietnam War. Unlike other Vietnam movies which focus on the violence and corruption, The Deer Hunter illustrates the devastation a war imparts on not only an individual but an entire town. Clocking in at an epic three hours and two minutes, the film shows a group of guys' daily life from work, to a bachelor party, to a wedding and how it all changes when they go to and return from Vietnam. Robert Deniro plays the lead role of Michael and is in his prime as one of the greatest actors ever to appear on the screen. He is flawless as the staunch, but softspoken leader of the group. Christopher Walken turns in a performance most people from this generation have never seen from him, as Nick, a powerful supporting character and best friend of Michael. Meryl Streep, another legend of the big screen, is excellent as is the rest of the gang including John Savage and the late John Cazale. The Deer Hunter includes a few of the most memorable scenes I can remember, such as an emotionally rivetting game of Russian Roulette that showcases some of the most phenomenal acting I've ever witnessed. The acting is clearly top-notch throughout, but the directing is what sets the Deer Hunter apart from other films. There has never been such a vivid portrayal of the impact war has on a community. The characters in this film could be anyone; the kid next door, your best friend in high school, or even you. War changes the characters deeply, and parallels can easily be drawn to what war has done to communities in the present time. The conclusion is heartbreaking but extremely meaningful, and the three hour film will leave you exhausted. However, this is what good films are supposed to do; stimulate your deepest senses and pull at your heart strings.

Good For: people who like epic movies, fans of socially conscious films, Best Picture fans, Vietnam film fans

Bad For: people who can't enjoy long movies, people with no emotions

The Gallery
The Film Maker: * * * * *
The Writer * * * * *

Breach (2007)

***

Yes, Breach is another one of those government conspiracy movies. It is the true story of "the greatest security breach in U.S. history," directed by Billy Ray who had a minor hit with Shattered Glass a few years ago. Let's get this clear from the start; this film would easily, without question be a one or even zero star movie if it wasn't for the extraordinarily disturbing performance by Chris Cooper. Cooper's portrayal of Robert Hanssen, the conspirator, is dark and horrifying, yet at the same time an every man that earns your sympathy. Ryan Phillipe returns to his pre-Crash form of bringing absolutely nothing to the table. Laura Linney, who is great in both Kinsey and the Squid and the Whale, is tremendously awful as Philippe's boss. Linney is almost always reliable, but every scene she is in is so painful to watch that I question whether the error was on the screenwriter or her acting chops. The director may have had a goal to pack as many stereotypes into one film as possible; foreign wife who takes emotional spousal abuse, christian sexual deviant, powerful yet lonely boss, young guy who will do anything to get ahead, etc. The story has enough twists and turns to keep the casual movie fan interested and the fact that it is based on truth adds another dimension to the story. Regardless, there is no way around it, the only scenes that are even remotely entertaining, or even not laugh-out-loud awful, are the ones including Cooper. Other laugh-out-loud moments include every single scene containing Lumbergh, aka Gary Cole (you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon?), as Cooper's boss, and Dennis Haysbert, aka the All-State insurance guy. Cooper was good in Adaptation and better in American Beauty, but this is far and away the best I have seen him. Its disappointing that such a terrific performance is marred by almost everything else about the film. Afterward you will either be terrified by Cooper or wondering, Are You In Good Hands? That's All-State's stand.

Good For: people who like government conspiracy/suspense movies, actors in training (watch Chris Cooper), a date (a dark performance and a good laugh), Reese Witherspoon (a good laugh)

Bad For: someone looking for a serious suspense film, Chris Cooper

The Gallery
The Surfer: * * *

Children of Men (2006)

* * * *

Alfonso Cuaron's last American release before Children of Men was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Children of Men's storyline of a desolate not-so-distant future where women have been sterile since 2009 is a bit more powerful than Harry's adventures at Hogwarts. This is the most realistic "bleak future" film I can remember with some jaw-dropping cinematography. Clive Owen stars as Theo, a government employee who, by some chance events, must help to protect the first pregnant woman on planet earth in almost 20 years. Owen is suprisingly solid and has established himself as one of "just-below-top-tier" leading men in Hollywood. Michael Caine, mostly known by this generation as Austin Powers' father, plays the hilarious and heartbreaking Jasper, a close friend to Owen's character. The film carries many British overtones as most of the cast is British, and in the film Britain is one of the last remaning safe havens with refugees from around the world flocking into the country. There are many religious and political allegories weaved into the plot, and at times they are difficult, yet a challenge to decipher. The images of terrorism, facism, and immigration are clearly aimed at the unfortunate situations society faces today. As mentioned earlier, the cinematography is breathtaking as Children of Men has some of the most realistic war scenes and terrorist/refugee attacks I've seen. A car attack scene and another in which the camera follows Owen for nearly five minutes without a cut are two notable examples. The film will no doubt have you enticed throughout, and may raise more questions than answers. This is likely a good thing though, as it will have you talking and may be one of those movies you need to watch a second or third time. Although its not perfect, hopefully Children of Men will spark more films of its kind.

Good For: people who like futuristic movies, political theorists, literature majors, people into symbolism

Bad For: unrelenting United States flag-waving patriots

The Gallery
The Economist: * * * *
The Film Maker: * * * * *

Volver (2006)

* * * *

Penelope Cruz has always been beautiful, has always had a terrible voice, and has always been an average to below average actress. That is until she speaks in Spanish. Cruz is in a totally different realm in Volver, her first performance worthy of attention. Volver, directed by the critically acclaimed Pedro Almodovar, has equal parts comedy and drama. The cast is almost entirely female with little to no camera time for male roles. The women light up the screen, however, in an interesting story of family and death, different from almost anything I have seen. The dialogue is sharp, the visuals are full of color and imagery, and the score has a Hispanic flavor, particularly a scene in which Cruz may or may not sing an emotional, acoustic song. Regardless, she is as hot as ever as the main character, Raimunda, and deserves the nod she received for best actress. Lola Duenas is excellent as Cruz's confused, quiet sister Sole, and Blanca Portillo is memorable as Agustina, the weed smoking, anti-establishment neighbor/long-time friend of the sisters. The film seems to get better each scene as its humor and plot twists take turns keeping you interested. This is the first of Almovodar's films I have seen, but after Volver, I would like to see more.

Good For: a date, women, general movie audience

Bad For: people who can't read subtitles, misogynists

The Gallery
The Film Maker: * * * *

Pan's Labyrinth: El Laberinto del Fauno (2006)

* * * * *

Pan's Labyrinth will not leave you speechless, because you will be discussing it with whoever is lucky enough to watch it with you. The film captivates you from the first scene until the culminating in a phenomenal ending, one of the best in film history. A fairy tale for adults, Pan's Labyrinth is a perfect blend of reality, fantasy, horror, heartbreak, and magic. The story is told through the eyes of Ofelia, played masterfully by Ivana Baquero and follows her journey in both an imaginary and real world. Beside the groundbreaking performance by Baquero, The cast is highlighted by Sergi Lopez as Capitan Vidal, one of the most evil characters in memory, and a powerful performance by Maribel Verdu as Mercedes. The special effects are some of the best ever created and can be appreciated because they are wonderfully placed and not overwhelming. You will be humming music from the score for days and will hear the theme music in your dreams. Guillermo del Toro has made a masterpiece that illustrates the brutality of war and the innocence of childhood. A fable and a fairy tale in one, this film should not be missed by anyone. A great film initiates discussion, and this one could be talked about for days as it is open to every viewer's interpretation. Everything in this film; the cast, direction, cinematography, score, effects, and script is memorable.

Good For: everyone who likes movies, especially great ones

Bad For: people who can't read subtitles, people upset by realistic blood/injuries

The Gallery
The Economist: * * * * *
The Surfer: * * * * *
The Film Maker: * * * *
The Writer * * * *